For Better or Worse...

For Better or Worse...

This clip got to me.  Maybe it's because of Chris' current battle with cancer... That was a dumb statement to even type... it's definitely because of Chris' current battle with cancer.  Let me quit trying to write and just "talk."  Any black woman in the communications field is familiar with the professional life of Bozoma Saint John.  However, I was not familiar with the personal life of this sista until recently.  Watching this clip reminded me of the wedding vows that everyone recites but never really think about - for better or worse.  

When you are standing at the altar in that little white dress, you are really thinking that things will only get better from here.  I mean you are great, he is great and together you will have this GREAT life.  But sometimes you don't.  That is just the truth of it. Shit happens.  Honestly, lots of shit happens.  You lose a child.  A parent dies.  You get laid off.  People get sick.  And spouses die.  

I never understood "for better or worse" until I watched my grandmother care for my granddad while he was dying.  She changed him, fed him and cared for him.  She loved him and honored him.  And he loved her.   He made sure that Grandmama would be taken care of after his death.  He knew that his legacy extended through her and his children and took steps to make sure they would be ok.

Chris has had cancer 3 times.  Three times.  And this latest round isn't looking so hot.  That's why when Bozoma mentioned that her husband was intentionally creating memories for the family, it struck a nerve.  There are so many days when I feel like I am racing a clock.  I want to lay up under Chris all day just to be close to him.  I want to take vacations and chill on the beach and finally take that honeymoon that we never took.  I want date nights and dancing until we sweat.  I want kids vacations to amusement parks and laughter.  I want to live intentionally in whatever time we have left together - be it 100 days or 100 years.   We wasted so much time on bullshit.  On being adversaries instead of allies.  Now, when we finally have arrived at a place of "aha!" it seems like the clock is running out.  That's shitty and unfair and a million other words... and while it will never be ok, I'll find the better in the worse.

Podcast Episode 2: Clark Kent or Superman

Podcast Episode 2: Clark Kent or Superman

Book Excerpt: Engagement is Preparation

Book Excerpt: Engagement is Preparation