And for the Fellas

You didn't think I was going to let you off that easy, did you? Come on.. You've been reading me for awhile. You know me better than that.

Why is it so hard to stay faithful to one woman? Since we've been communicating for awhile, don't try to hand me the normal crap. None of the "well you know, men are visual creatures. We need variety." Or the "the only thing better than good p*ssy is new p*ssy." We are beyond that. So what is it? I mean can you really explain it to me?

Is it "my wife just doesn't understand me anymore?" Have you tried talking with her? UMMMM, chances are the answer is no. For some reason, humans have a hard time talking to the person that they claim means the most to them. Instead of running off at the mouth with the next chick, how about talking with your wife.

"We don't have sex like we used to." Are your moves predictable? Can she count on the exact same 3 moves every night? I love cheesecake but I have a sneaky suspicision that if I ate it every night for a month, I might be sick of it and want a Snickers bar instead. Go back to your bag of tricks and put in some horizontal work.

"She's gained weight." Are you eating what she's cooking? I thought so. So chances are you've gained too. So take over the cooking duties a few times a week. Ask her to go on a walk with you to spend some quality time together. See how slick that was? I didn't mention exercise or tell her to lose weight. I said "quality time." Believe me, the phrasing makes all the difference.

"She doesn't keep herself up anymore." Quick. Take out your cell phone and credit card. Call her best friend and tell her to make a hair, mani/pedi, Brazillian and massage appointment for your wife. Ask the best friend to take her to the MAC counter to get a makeover. Go to Victoria Secret and pick out something that you want to see her in. Gift wrap the package. Send the kids to their grandma's house. When your wife gets home, take her out and show her off. After all of the positive attention that she receives, she will do it more often. Trust me.

"We've grown apart." Valid problem, but not an irreconcilable difference. Call your church's marriage ministry. Attend marriage Sunday school. Talk to each other. Talk to a counselor. Go on vacation together to a place neither of you have been. That will force you to talk to each other. Or recreate early memories. Where was your first date? Go there. Recapture that love.

"It's just easy with the other woman." Of course it's easy. Do you think getting into trouble is ever hard? Do you think that satan is stupid? No. The enemy wants you to perceive it as easier to make you make mistakes.  Duh! So it is easy with the mistress right now. She never complains. She never fusses with you. She never makes you angry, right? Do you know why? Because she doesn't know all of you. She has been entertaining your PR agent. She doesn't know your quirks or shortcomings. That's because she is your mistress, not your wife.

The fundamental difference is that mistresses love the PR agent, wives love the man.