The Fantasy of Perfection

Right now I am sitting in an airport.  On the outside, my curls are cascading perfectly with the perfect swoop bang.  My face is beat, this highlight is popping and my all-black outfit is travel chic.  I am casually flipping my hair over my shoulder as I type away at this laptop looking every bit like a world travelling girl boss.

But the reality is that I am waiting on my flight which has been delayed twice.  I am so tired I can barely type.  My feet are throbbing from all of the walking I've been doing.  I am nervous about Chris' upcoming scan and there's a work event that has me more off-kilter than I care to admit.  I really think I may be having a heart attack or at least severe exhaustion.  (Don't worry, mom, it is really just exhaustion.)  And I think the comb of my wig just stabbed me in my brain.  That is how I really feel RIGHT NOW.  

In a world of branding and insta filters, we can easily forget that for every perfect picture there are 20 not so perfect ones.  For every influencer you see on the 'gram looking oh-so-well put together, there was probably a stylist, hairdresser, and makeup artist making sure they are popping.  For every casual photo shoot there is normally a skilled photographer capturing those candid shots.  And that is ok.  As a communications professional, I love a good ole branding campaign.  As an entrepreneur and author, I understand the need for branding.  As a wife-mom-woman-human, I have to admit that sometimes it's exhausting.  

So I write this post to say forgive me when the brand is a bit off or delayed or inconsistent.  Forgive me when I take a little too long between posts because my 9-5 has gotten extremely busy.  Maybe my brand has to be the transparent brand... can that be a thing?  You get the best of me and the not so great parts of me.  The real me.  (Note: the real me does not include having access to all of me.  You only have access to the parts that I choose to share.)  The me that admits that I wrote a book about marriage that I have to read to remind myself how to act sometimes.  The me that still has a slick mouth.  The me that is still dealing with hurt of Chris' past action.  The me that is still making amends for my misdeeds.  The me that wants to smack people sometimes but have to remember that I am grown.  The me that wants to be a best-selling author and speaker but also wants a nap.  The me that takes a trillion selfies and posts 1 because one of my eyes is bigger than the other.  The me that needs to lose a few pounds by also loves carbs.  The me that loves God but sometimes falls asleep before I finish talking with Him.  So if you are looking for perfection,  follow someone else.  Now they aren't perfect either but may do a better job of keeping up the illusion.  As for me, I'm going to stay in my lane, trying to do the best I can.  I'm going to be the Myriad That is Me.